10 Practical Steps on How to Fix a Relationship and Rebuild Trust

Relationships can be tough sometimes, and it’s normal to hit a rough patch along the way.

The good news is that it’s possible to mend these cracks and rebuild trust once again.

It takes effort, patience, and a lot of love, but you can do it.

Here are 10 practical steps to help you turn things around.

1. Understanding the Root Cause

Start by identifying what went wrong. You need to know what’s broken before you can fix it.

Was there a specific event or a series of small misunderstandings?

Sometimes, it helps to think back to when the problems began.

If you’ve been arguing a lot lately, ask yourself why these arguments are happening. Is it stress from work, lack of communication, or unmet needs?

If a plant is wilting, you don’t just water the leaves. You check the roots and the soil to see what’s wrong.

The same goes for relationships. You need to dig deep to understand the core issues.

Talk openly and calmly with them about your feelings and listen to their perspective.

Avoid blaming each other. Instead, focus on understanding each other’s viewpoints.

Once you have a clearer picture, you can start addressing the real problems, not just the symptoms. 

It's about working together as a team to find solutions. 

Figuring out the root cause of your relationship issues is the first step in rebuilding trust. 

2. Open and Honest Communication

Start by creating a safe space where both of you can talk freely. This means listening actively and speaking from the heart.

If you feel neglected, express it calmly. Say something like, "I feel lonely when we don't spend time together."

Avoid blaming statements like, "You never spend time with me." This approach helps the other person understand your feelings without feeling attacked.

Listening is just as important as speaking. When they share their feelings, really listen.

Put away your phone and make eye contact. Show empathy by acknowledging their emotions, even if you don’t fully agree.

Regular check-ins can also help maintain open communication. Set aside time each week to talk about how you’re feeling and what you both need.

This keeps small issues from turning into big problems.

The goal is to understand each other better and find solutions together.

3. Taking Responsibility and Apologizing Sincerely

A genuine apology shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and are willing to make amends.

It's a sign of emotional maturity.

Start by admitting what you did wrong. Be specific about your actions and how they affected the other person.

Say, "I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me. I realize now how small that made you feel."

This shows that you understand the impact of your actions.

Avoid excuses or shifting blame. An apology should come from a place of responsibility.

Saying "I'm sorry, but..." diminishes the sincerity of your apology.

Instead, focus on expressing regret and showing empathy for the other person's feelings.

Show that you’re committed to changing your behavior. Mention the steps you’ll take to prevent the same mistake from happening again. 

Actions speak louder than words. So, make sure to back up your apology with actions that show your commitment.

Consistent, positive behavior can rebuild trust over time. It shows them that you care and are committed to making things better.

4. Forgiveness and Letting Go

This is an important step in healing a broken relationship.

Holding onto past hurts can prevent you from moving forward, but that doesn't mean your emotions aren't valid.

It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, or disappointed. Give yourself time to process your emotions.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing what happened. It means choosing to release the hold that the past has on you.

Talk to your partner, friend, or family member. Express what hurt you and why it’s hard to let go. This conversation can help both of you come to a mutual understanding.

Forgiving someone takes time and effort. It’s a gradual process, not a one-time event.

Be patient with yourself and the other person as you work through it. Focus on your emotional connection and the present moment.

Learn to recognize sticky, negative thoughts and let them go. When a painful memory surfaces, remind yourself of the progress you’ve made and the good moments you’ve shared.

If letting go feels too difficult, consider getting professional help. Some mistakes are harder to let go than others. Sometimes, you just need that extra help.

Forgiveness is a healing process, not just for you but for them too. It allows you both to learn from the past and work towards a more fulfilling relationship.

5. Set Clear Boundaries

Boundaries help define what is acceptable and what isn’t. It ensures both sides feel respected and valued.

Start by discussing your needs and limits. Be honest about what makes you comfortable and what doesn’t. 

You can say, “I’m not comfortable with you raising your voice during a fight.” Or "I need an hour to myself when I get back home from work."

Listen to their boundaries, too. Understanding each other is key to a healthy relationship.

It’s important to create a space where both of you feel safe to express your boundaries without fear of judgment or rejection.

Once you’ve set boundaries, respect them consistently. If a boundary is crossed, address it calmly and openly.

Flexibility is also important. As your relationship evolves, your boundaries may need to be adjusted.

Check in with each other from time to time to make sure they still align with your needs and expectations.

Setting clear boundaries is a sign of a healthy relationship. It helps build trust and understanding, leading to a more fulfilling relationship.

6. Rebuild Trust

Rebuilding trust takes time and effort. It’s about showing the other person in the relationship through actions that they can rely on you again.

Of course, it's not going to be easy, but it is possible with time and effort.

Start by being honest and transparent. Share your thoughts and feelings openly. This openness helps to clear any doubts and rebuild trust.

Follow through on your promises. If you say you’ll do something, make sure you do it. Consistency shows that you are dependable.

Show empathy and understanding. Recognize the pain you caused and express genuine remorse.

Listen to their concerns without getting defensive. Maintain clear and respectful communication.

Regularly check in with each other to ensure you are both on the same page.

Discuss any issues openly before they snowball into something bigger.

If you are finding it too hard to build back that trust, consider getting professional help.

A relationship without trust can turn into a toxic relationship.

7. Spend Quality Time Together

Spending quality time together helps you reconnect and enjoy each other’s company.

Start by setting aside regular time just for the two of you. This could be a weekly date night or a simple daily routine, like having dinner together.

The key is to be consistent and make it a priority.

Choose activities that you both enjoy. It could be anything from hiking to cooking a meal together.

Doing things you love can bring joy and excitement back into your relationship.

These moments of connection help you bond and understand each other better.

Be present during your time together. Put away your phones and focus on each other. 

Try new things together and create shared memories. This keeps the relationship dynamic and fun.

Use this time to talk about your day, your dreams, and your concerns. Open communication during quality time can deepen your connection.

Remember, it’s not just about the quantity of time you spend together, but the quality.

Even small moments, like a walk in the park or a cozy cuddle while watching TV, can make a big difference.

Make spending time together a habit, and watch your relationship grow.

8. Get Professional Help

Sometimes, fixing a relationship needs a bit of extra help. That’s where professionals come in.

They can see things you might miss and offer new ways to communicate and connect.

There are several mental health professionals who can help with relationship issues:

• Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs): They specialize in helping couples and families navigate relationship challenges and improve communication.

• Licensed Professional Counselors (LPCs): They are trained to provide therapy for a wide range of issues, including relationship problems, emotional difficulties, and mental health concerns.

• Couples Counselors: They are specifically trained to work with couples, helping them resolve conflicts, improve communication, and rebuild trust.

• Relationship Coaches: They can provide guidance and strategies to improve relationship dynamics and communication skills.

Find someone you both feel comfortable with. Someone with appropriate credentials and experience to address your concerns.

A good fit can make the process more effective and enjoyable.

Getting help is a positive step towards a healthy, meaningful relationship. It shows you’re both committed to making things work. 

If you need support from a licensed therapist or certified Wave coach, download the Wave app today and sign up for your first free coaching session.

Let us help you and your partner, family member, or friend build a stronger, more loving relationship.

9. Practice Patience and Persistence

Patience and persistence are key to fixing any relationship problem.

Change doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s important to stay committed to the process.

Healing takes time, so be patient with yourself and them as you work through issues.

It’s normal to have setbacks, don’t let them discourage you. Keep communicating openly, show love and support, and work on yourself and your relationship.

Even when it feels difficult, remember why you’re doing it.

It’s also important to take breaks and give each other space when needed.

Sometimes, stepping back for a moment can help you both gain perspective and recharge. 

Stay positive and encourage each other every step of the way.

10. Celebrate Small Victories

Start by acknowledging the positive changes, no matter how small they seem.

Did you have a productive conversation without arguing? Celebrate it.

Did you spend a great evening together? Acknowledge it.

Did they make you feel appreciated? Let them know.

These moments show that you’re moving in the right direction.

Taking time to appreciate these small wins keeps you both motivated.

Say things like, “I really liked how our talk went today,” or “I’m proud of how we handled that situation.”

Positive reinforcement can build their confidence and show that you notice their efforts.

Celebrate these little wins with a hug, a special dinner, or a heartfelt note. These habits help reinforce positive changes.

Treat each other with kindness and affection. Celebrate the progress you make together.

Keep encouraging each other, and enjoy the journey towards a happier, healthier relationship.